Joke 1:
Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food for you myself for a month, what will pay me?
Husband: I don't need to pay you, You'll get my entire life insurance amount.

Joke 2:
Wife: I look fat, old, and Ugly. Can you give me a compliment?
Husband: Your eyesight's damn near perfect.

Joke 3:
Husband: I don't know how you can be so stupid so stupid and so beautiful  all the same time.
Wife: God made me beautiful so, you would be attracted to me, God made me stupid so, I would be attracted to you!

Joke 4:
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

Joke 5:
Wife: In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring.
Husband: I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill.