My car horn now sounds like gunshots. People move out of the way much faster recently.
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If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge?
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It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
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Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
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Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
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Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
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I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
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Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
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Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.
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My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy… so I got drunk.
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Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.
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Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
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Evening news is where they begin with “Good evening”, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
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Whatever you do always give 100% – unless you’re donating blood.
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Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
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