Joke 1:
Teacher: tell me! What is the most intoxicating thing?
Child: books...
Teacher: How is that? I did not understand.
Child: The sleep that comes as soon as you open the book ..

Joke 2:
Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?
Student: You are pretty.
Teacher: What’s the direct object?
Student: A good report card.

Joke 3:
Math teacher: A man from Place A drove toward Place B at 250 miles per hour and a man from Place B drove toward Place A at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet?
Student: In jail!

Joke 4:
Teacher: What is the shortest month?
Student: May.
Teacher: How?
Student: it only has three letters.

Joke 5:
Teacher: If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples and 3 strawberries, what would you have?
Student: A delicious fruit salad.